Latest from camp Sinclaire: burning wives, disappearing billboards and illegal canvassing

The Common Man has enjoyed the aura of comedy which surrounds Camp Sinclaire and, to quote Richard Littlejohn, you couldn't make most of it up.

SAMRA candidate Trevor Eames is a case in point. Busily standing as one of Sinclaires fellow candidates, can it be the same Trevor Eames who spent several years at Her Majestys pleasure for - and this is the best bit - setting fire to his wife? The Common Man is assured that they are one and the same.

Then we have the mysteriously disappearing Conservative billboards. During the current election campaign, Solihull Conservatives have noticed their billboards disappearing at an alarming rate. The same thing happened during the European election campaign. The culprit? Josh O'Nyons, Sinclaires office manager.

And finally, as Trevor MacDonald would say, we have the mysteriously disappearing Sinclaire. Early morning shoppers in Solihull would have seen her canvassing on the High Street, and yet by 11am, she has vanished? What could be the cause? Magic? Kidnapping? No, it was the local council, who moved her on because she had failed to get the proper authority to block the pavements while handing out her toilet paper.