Mathematically challenged Dr Edmonds massages UKRAL attendance

Steam enthusiasts barely noticed the untumultuous tea party sized meeting which had gathered to show support for international superstar Robin Page and exchange reasons on why UKIP would be successful if only they were in charge.

Addressing himself to the rows of adulating empty chairs, Mr Page explained at some length how UKIPs leadership had to recognise his fame or face the consequences. "Rules aren't made for people as important and famous as I am", boomed Mr Page before blaming the first two people to spring to mind and invoking the doctrine of Pagal Infallibility.

The burning controversy of the day has proved to be over the mathematical ability of former economist Dr Edmonds. Initially posting attendance on his blog as 45, within hours it had grown to 63, and all this hours after the conference had ended and everybody had gone home.

It can be reported with confidence that 37 was a fair figure, if the organisers and speakers were counted. As there were 13 speakers on the posted programme, non economists can work out the true attendance of 24 non-speakers less the organisers, or about 20. Some of those seemed to have a plentiful supply of BNP leaflets.

Questions have been asked as to the difference in these figures, and the answer is that while Dr Edmonds counted 45, Peter Cole, Tom Wise MEPs (that model of honest accounting) assistant counted 63.

We have a few simple tips for Mr Cole and Dr Edmonds. When counting attendees, the ones in shirts with the name of the venue on, the people on the food side of the counter and people pointing at exhibits and carrying cameras do not count. When people leave, you can not count them again when they come back in. Stewards and speakers are not part of the audience, they are the organisers.

Particularly interesting given the numerical challenges faced by Mr Cole and Dr Edmonds were the calls for the need for complete honesty and transparency in politics. Almost every speaker to the venue which was packed to the point of emptiness agreed that you could not trust people who manipulated the truth.